In It’s Own Time: Part 1Posted: February 25, 2015
It’s been a long while since I wrote any updates about my album, ETHER . As it turned out, the universe had other plans for me, with many bends in my road, that included a serious health detour. An abscess root canal had centered in my left side of my jaw, that necessitated immediate ‘state of the art’ surgery for jawbone reconstruction. So, having come out the other side now, I am very relieved and thrilled to share, that I am currently recording my album, ETHER. And if I do say so … the thirteen original pop jazz songs are coming together beautifully!
I admit, the surgery was a bit of a nightmare for this singer, but once I got on top of the jaw joint mayhem, along with my new mouth, and tongue placement, I gained a gentler and more patient approach to myself. It has been a rather profound healing process. I also learned, yet one more time…that the creative process has its very own wise timing. Because during recovery, I honed and dug deeper into my music and lyrics while also deepening my spiritual practice and meditation. Songwriting is a humbling and mysterious process I deeply respect and love. So I believe through letting my songs ‘breath’ over this past year in particular, they have benefited all the more… yet I’ll let you be the judge of that after you listen to them, yourself.
For this high achieving mother and musician, it was hard to let go. I always had way too much on my plate. ‘Running to stand still’ had become an accepted way of life. Wasn’t that why we called it the human race after all? As someone who can revert to perfectionism, I also caught myself measuring my recovery progress and beating myself up for not healing quicker. That was not very nice. So when I finally gave myself permission to be and do nothing… sleep, think and heal, it felt good. Really good. And RECKLESS! In a most unexpected way.
I spent a lot of time really listening to the gorgeous bird songs outside my window… the sublime silence… and the rhythmic ocean’s waves… that happen to be right in my front yard. I know, pretty amazing. A memorable day was when two dragonflies literally hung out on my shoulder and lap, for over an hour, with a pod of Orca whales also in view! Which immediately dispelled the limiting thought ‘ life was passing me by’. What a programmed societal hoax because I was exactly where I needed to be, with the most incredible island sanctuary to recover in, and loving family and dear friends to support me… that most people would clamor to experience. So, the most fascinating part of being forced to unplug from both the global timer and my own inner metronome was that it slowly took me back to my own natural rhythm. An innate kind of timing that as it turned out, was reminiscent of when my child was born.
So, since the ‘so called’ detour happened, I can honestly now say I am sincerely grateful for the insights I’ve learned because of it. For one thing, I am certainly far more in touch with my tongue. That may sound unusual, but it’s true. After my operation…my poor tongue (and joints) took the brunt of it. Dominique Eade, an exceptional Boston teacher and vocalist, first opened my awareness up to ‘connecting to my tongue.’ For instance…did you know that our tongue is ‘ridiculously’ connected to every muscle and nerve in our mouth, throat, neck, shoulders and jaw? I mean, who knew how much tension could be stored in one’s tongue? And what a difference to one’s sound, it makes to release it? It’s just the beginning of my new-found body wisdom and self-awareness, which I happily now find myself self correcting with each conversation, yawn, kiss, each bite of food, and… each note and vowel in every song. Is my tongue relaxed? So, the deeper metaphors of this experience continue to be far-reaching for this evolving singer, songwriter.
With my recording cycle now in full tilt again, I take all these experiences and more… into the studio and my songs. I feel very fortunate. Sure, my life has sped up once more and my plate is full again, yet, it is at my own pace with an easier stride as I feel a new sense of calm excitement and curiosity, about what lies ahead. I adore recording and the relaxed and intimate process of this recording cycle, with my talented pianist, Juno winning producer, co- writer and engineer extraordinaire, Chris Gestrin. It is the highlight of my year so far.
I LOVE completing my thirteen pop, jazz songs that I happen to feel are pretty special. I hope you will too. I really look forward to sharing them with you, at release time, next fall. So to you who have taken the time to read this, many thanks. I welcome any of your comments or feedback and I will be sure to post ‘Part 2’ and the further adventures of this ‘Reckless Grace’ journey, soon! Life… isn’t it something?